"When it comes to authors,we may hide ourselves from others but within our pages, our true souls emerge." - Nicole Hill
"I want a Vampite of my very own. Until I find him, I'll just keep writing him into existence." -Nicole Hill
" I write like people talk. It may not be perfect but it's damn entertaining." - Nicole Hill

Monday, October 8, 2012

Buried, with Ryan Reynolds, jacked me up so I had to rant.

So I just watched Buried with Ryan Reynolds. I started watching it last night but was unable to finish it. I am claustrophobic. It was kind of hard watching a movie where a guy is trapped in a box and you know he's going to die. I was literally in a panic attack the whole time. So I told my husband about it and he decided to watch it today so of course I had to finish it. Now there is no type of movie that I won't try but I could never bring myself to watch it. I have always had this reoccurring dream where I am in the days of cowboys and Indians. That's all I know. I am running from someone. I keep thinking that my brother and my parents went to town and wont be back for three days. Where can I hide from “Them for three days? I don't know who them are as all I think is “them” I am running across dry, hot terrain. It's very hot outside as the sun feels like it's blazing at somewhere near 105. I have a simple brown dress and black boots on as I can see them and the skirt as I run. I am near exhaustion and know I must stop somewhere cool to rest. I can't let “Them” get me. The things I had heard of them doing to women. No, I could not let them get me. I see a cave opening in some rocks on the side of a cliff about ten feet up. I decide it's the best place to hide and begin the climb up the edge of the cliff. I am thinking that if my dad could see me now, he wouldn't be so mad that she was always out playing with her brother as apposed to finding a suitable husband. Just as I was climbing over the edge of the cliff where the cave opening was, I heard “Them” in the distance and ducked into the cave quickly without looking where I was going. The cave was cool and spacious but littler with sharp rocks. I tripped on one and fell against another causing it to roll into the far wall. A soon as the rock hit the wall of the cave, everything began to shake. “Cave in!” Flew through my thoughts as I scrambled to late to get out of the way before massive hard rocks fell all over me. I remember being in pain all over and unable to draw a full breath no matter how long I struggled just before blackness claimed me. At this point I usually wake up choking and gasping for air. Sometimes I guess I freak out about being trapped and leap out of bed. I have ran into walls and doors and knocked myself out after waking up from a very vivid dream. I dream crazy all the time. Go big or go home I guess. But anyway you can imagine that has always been my worst fear to be buried alive. The reason it took me two years to watch and also the reason it took two sittings to finished. It was a two hour long panic attack for me! And at the end where you knew he would die and then you thought he was saved and then boom, he died cause it was the wrong body they dug up! I literally almost had a heart attack! Not kidding. I was pacing the room crying and trying to control my breathing. I can't even snorkel for Christ sake. I never feel like I’m getting enough air. I can't sleep with my face covered in any way either. No air. This movie fucked me up royally and I'm not even joking. My emotions feel like I just went through a life altering event. I haven't looked it up so I don't know if Ryan got any awards for his performance but if he didn't he damn well should have. I full on believed every second of his performance. I couldn't have done it. Hell no. Even watching it freaked me out. My empathy level and imagination are way too good. Acting it out and pretending could send me into convulsions. It probably won't be as bad on the rest of you but I guarantee it will keep you interested.