" The real me and where I came from." Here goes nothin.

So I guess, I wanted to finally put into word who I am and what it's like to be me. Who would care is beyond me but here goes. Iv'e never been truthfully honest about me, my family or my past before. I usually leave out a shit load of information about " Where I came from " and how I became me. I don't know if i'll ever actually publish this or if it will end up in the trash like most of my other attempt at explaining the life of a nobody. I'll probably lose half of my followers but oh well. It might just end up being nothing but rantings that nobody but me can understand anyway. My name is Nicole Faith Hill and I am a writer that suffers from obsessive compulsive disorder, among a shitload of other things. I am an insignificant nobody from two insignificant nobodies from a small town in north Florida. I don't want to go to far into detail about my child hood. It sucked and I don't like to talk about all of it. Lets just say that if you put together all of the sad, tragic, disgusting after school specials you have ever seen, that might cover most of it. I was red headed and freckle faced and had a gap in my front teeth a mile wide. To top that all off, I was blind as a bat and had a crossed eye. I wore glasses with three inch coke bottle lenses. Lets just say that school sucked to. Endless bullying and persecution. I went home most days and cried. But it made me tough, which was good because by the time I was eight I had gone through just about every bad thing a woman could imagine happening to her. At eight years old, I heard the words that shattered my faith in everyone except me and my siblings. " Every family has a secret. This is ours. " My childhood was officially over. and yet I somehow still managed to drag my brother and sister out the other side, if not completely whole at least somewhat sane. You'll notice if you follow me that I actively tweet and blog my support for many causes from child abuse to bullying. My child hood left me angry with no outlet for it accept to write and read myself into other places and times. Thank god for my punching bag! Speaking of god, don't really believe in god. I believe something created us. " obviously " but I don't believe its the loving and forgiving god that we read about in the bible that will help you if you prayed to him. Bullshit. I prayed when I was little. Every freaking night and did god help me? No. I helped myself! I guess, I don't believe in god because if he did exist and he allowed such horrible terrible things to happen to innocent children, that would make him a sick sadistic son of a bitch and I would not care for him much anyway. My mom had two jobs because my step dad was a.... Loser and I was doing most of the house work and raising of my brother an sister I have been managing a house hold since the age of eight. I wrote and read to escape my life. I used to have dreams of other people doing other things. Interesting things. I would think it was wishful thinking. Seeing other people on grand adventures and doing great heroic things. Then I started writing them down when I woke up and realized that I could embellish upon them quite easily and make entire stories revolving around this one key conversation or fight that I dreamed about. Started that at around nine. By the time I was twelve, I would have full blown daydreams about the other people and places. I guess shit was bad enough that I had to daydream, That I was somewhere else even when I was awake. I wrote those down too. At twelve I wrote my first novella. I threw it away of course because who would ever care about anything that I wrote anyway. I grew up of course, had boyfriends of course was in love once, but it turned out he was an asshole. Broke up with me three days after I gave him my virginity. Something that I had been clawing onto with tooth and nail all through child hood cause, I knew that somehow that was going to be the only thing that I ever have to offer. But what ever. When I met Willie ( The Hubby ) I was sixteen. He is Cuban and was from Miami. He was on his high school football and wrestling team. Everyone knew him. Everyone wanted to be his friend. He tried to hit on me and I ignored him. Figuring it was a joke and the other shoe would fall eventually. He went back to Miami the next day and I didn't see him for another year. This time he would not take no for an answer. Having no idea why this gorgeous dude who looks like he should be on a billboard would have any interest in me it took him a while but I finally gave in and fell head over heals. He is an artist, he draws, he paints he even makes vinyl fishing decals for his company. fshnkng.com. Yes, I just shamelessly name dropped but I'm proud of my Hubby and like to brag. We now have been together four twelve years and have two sons ages eleven and seven. But on to me again. I write. I have tons of stories in my head . I daydream about something or dream about it and sit down to start writing and it just flows for hours on end. Sometimes I don't remember most of what I wrote until I reread. I seriously zone out! I'll probably never get published because, I cant do things like they are supposed to be done, I guess you could say. I cant plan a novel since, I don't really know what I'm writing till I sit down. A synopsis. Whatever. I have tried to do them but they just make me angry and I give up. It was they same way in school. Plan your speech before you write it, outline it! I never did that and I made a's. I just write what comes out. If it's decent I keep going. If it's shit I toss it. And Query letters. I hate those! Hey you publisher. I know I'm a nobody and nearly invisible but could you take a look at this? It's really needs edited but I don't have the money for it and have tried like nine times to do it myself but because of my OCD and the insane need to be perfect, I keep rewriting the damn thing! The formatting sucks so I don't know what to do about that. I'm an artist for gods sake not an editor! And those cost money. Money, I don't have! Money I will never have! I feel like when I die, I'll be one of those sad stories that people sometimes talk about. She had so much talent, so much potential. Maybe if she was born to a different social class. Maybe she would have had more opportunity to make something of herself. Probably why I decided that If I ever found out that Vampires existed, I land one of my own. Think about it. I was born to low on the ladder to ever make the climb in one life time. I need more! LOL. Probably why my first book is about the existence of them. I'm not crazy now. I know they actually don't exist. But a girl can dream. It's either that or the fountain of youth if I'm going to live long enough to rise above my impoverished beginnings and middle so far. LOL Anyway. I found the KDP site one day and thought well what the hell. No one will read it but at least my name will be out there in the cosmos or something. But so far, I'm finding that it's not enough. I want people to read it, I want people to like it. What did I get myself into? I was perfectly happy being nearly invisible. Now I don't want that anymore. I want More. Every new follower I get, Every copy of my book that sells, I want more. No longer is Nikki happy sitting in the corner. I will not go quietly into the night! like everyone seems to want me to. I have a voice dammit! Well, I guess that's pretty much it. Like it or not, I am who I am and I don't really want to change that. 

Rank me on Twitter here

Review Zen and the art of vampires Katie McCallister

I loved this book! So much in fact that, I read it three years ago and still remember the names of the characters! Pia takes a singles cruise to Europe and can suddenly  see ghosts. She does not know why or how but this just started. She also encounters two very good looking vampires. One who keeps throwing himself at her and the other who keeps cursing her out. Naturally she wants the one that seems to not want her. She is not a heroine in the normal since. She describes herself as fat and frumpy but I get the idea it's more like curvy. She's on this cruise on another continent and has no clue what's going on. She's just trying to get home before she gets killed or something. I liked this story because at the beginning you will think that she is a damsel and needs to be saved but by the end she grows a pair and saves the day. I will be getting the 6th book so that I can finish her story. Even after two years, I still have to know whats going on! I havent read any of the others in this series but if this is any indication, I would recommend them all!

 

Five free books for your kindle.

Haunted by his past, Malik rushes through a tempest filled Florida night toward an unexpected meeting with destiny. Harboring a soul that longs for unity with his mate, he tries to understand the shallow dating experiences up to this moment. He is positive there is someone with whom his heart beats in tandem. Where? He doesn’t have a clue.
Wyndy, Tempest Tamer Faery, has waited lifetimes for the return of her soul love.
Will Malik return?


This ebook package also includes a short story titled THE MATCHMAKER Short story word count: 1000











Sixteen year-old Kara Nightingale’s ordinary life is suddenly turned upside-down when she dies and wakes up in a strange new world with a new career—as a rookie for the Guardian Angel Legion. Kara is pulled into the supernatural, where monkeys drive the elevators, oracles scurry above giant crystal balls, and where demons feed on the souls of mortals.

With the help of her Petty Officer and friend, David, Kara hurtles towards an adventure that will change her life forever…


DON'T MISS THE OTHER BOOKS IN THE SERIES:

ELEMENTAL, Book # 2
HORIZON, Book # 3
NETHERWORLD, Book # 4 – May 2012
SEIRS, Book # 5 – Summer 2012











Rescued from certain death, Sophie Hart finds herself drawn into the underground world of Patrick, a silent vampire who also happens to be the last of his kind.

In volume 1 of the Dark Season series, Sophie encounters Patrick for the first time. But while she finds herself drawn to him, she also meets a man who has been chronicling the vampires for many years, and who has a stark warning about getting too involved.

Dark Season is a series of novellas, each approximately 25,000 words. Each book is a complete standalone story, knowledge of the other books is not essential. This book contains some sexual situations.


ALSO AVAILABLE IN THIS SERIES

Volume II - Sentinel
Volume III - Army of Wolves
Volume IV - The Civil Dead

Volume V - The Life, Death, Life, Life and Death of Martin Keller (Dec 2011)
Volume VI - Gothos (Jan 2012)
Volume VII - Testament (Jan 2012)
Volume VIII - Dead End (Feb 2012)






Rae Wilder has problems. Supernatural creatures swarm the earth, and humanity is on the brink of extinction. Stalked by a handsome fairy who claims she is like him, demonkind, Rae thinks maybe it was a mistake breaking the rules by going over the Wall into demon territory. Plunged into a world of dark magics, fierce creatures, and ritual sacrifice, she is charged with a guarding a magical amulet. The changes to her mind and body are startling, but rather than accept her purpose she struggles against who she is destined to be. Throw in a big lust for a vampire who can't keep his hands off her, and life starts to get complicated. Rae is forced to make the ultimate choice: to live and die human, or embrace her birth-right and wield magics that could turn her into something wicked, a force of nature nothing can control. Young Adult: British English (BrE)







Seventeen-year-old Elizabeth Moon has been dreaming of her murder her entire life, and in those dreams, a dark presence is there, watching. When she returns home to Hauser’s Landing, the very place her father disappeared, she comes in contact with a gorgeous boy named Lev Walker, and it’s not long before she’s falling in love. But there’s something wrong with Lev. When she realizes he’s the eerie watcher in her dreams, she’ll have to discover the truth. Is he a guardian angel or a sojourner, an angel of death who has come to collect her soul?

Spread Indies Unite for Joshua

Our Story

We are a worldwide group of independent authors, publishers, filmmakers, and artists rallying to support a fellow writer. 

Joshua is the 21-year old son of author, Maxwell Cynn. Max writes speculative fiction, science fiction, and romance. His son has been diagnosed with Acute T-cell Lymphoblastic Leukemia. The cancer has invaded every part of his body: brain; spleen; liver; lymph nodes; and he has a mass in his chest. Joshua has had to suspend his studies while undergoing aggressive chemotherapy and will not be able to graduate this semester. With three-and-a-half years of a 4.0 GPA toward a degree in philosophy, his peers and professors consider him brilliant, as of course, does his father. Joshua would have been the first person in Max's family to graduate college.

The Impact

Most of us have been touched by cancer, or know of someone who has. By supporting Max and his family, we hope to lessen their financial burden to allow them to concentrate on Joshua's treatment.

Max is already putting all the proceeds from the sale of his books toward his son's treatment. As authors and artists, we'd like to do our part. We are offering our love and prayers, but we're also donating our books and services.  

What We Need & What You Get

$10,000 will pay for just some of the medical expenses not covered by insurance. It is a long road to recovery, and your donations will reduce the cost of prolonged cancer treatment. 

We don't believe in taking and not giving back, so we're offering some amazing perks for your donations. It's our way of saying "Thank you" for your support of Max, Joshua, and his family, as well as bringing visibility to a horrible disease.

Bonus With Every Donation 

As a special gift, Max is giving a copy of his book, CyrbrGrrl or The Collective to each person who makes a donation. 

note from max:

I plan to personally contact everyone who donates. You all rock! The response is overwhelming, so it may take me some time. If your donation isn't monetary (tweets, shares, blogs) drop me an email and I'll send you a book. 

xoxox 

max

Other Ways You Can Help

We realize not everyone is able to make a monetary donation, however, we'd be SO grateful if you could help spread the word. Tell everyone on your social media networks, and use the hashtag #IndiesUnite4Joshua on Twitter. 

Add this widget to your blog or website and direct people to the campaign.

The more people who know about it, the better. We'd really appreciate it!

There are also excellent perks for contribution and different monetary levels. From a free E-book to Editing services just for donating. Please take the time to check this out. 

Indies Unite for Joshua Campaign Page

Review " Ghost Hunter by Lori Brighton. "

The Ghost Hunter (The Hunter #1)
by Lori Brighton 
5 of 5 Stars

Ooh. This one was a good one. Very different from all other stories of Ghost Whisperer's. You will think that you know whats going on, but will find out that you weren't even close. I stayed interested, all the way to the last page. I love stories about people who do not yet know what they are fully capable of. I will definitely be reading more from this author. 

My take on the psyche inside the marriage of new parents.

So. I have a younger cousin that has been married for over a year. She and her husband have recently had a child and things have started to fall apart. I really try to let people handle their own problems but I never can seem to help it. Now they did all the right things. They dated for over five years before they were married. They waited nearly a year before they had a child. So what went wrong? No thing really. They just don't know it. So I thought about it and here is how I can explain it. Now I am not a doctor but my husband and  I have had two children and have been together for twelve years now. We have been through pretty much everything a couple can go through. I have always been a people watcher. I watch their actions as well as what they say. I would say that I am a fairly good judge of character. This is what I think goes on. A woman gives birth and during the birthing process hormones are released that let us know how to take care of our child. Most call it motherly instinct. Now not like those mothers that kill their kids. Obviously something went wrong there. Hormonal imbalance or something. Like I said. (Not a doctor). Now we get the benefit of this hormone leading us. We are super mom!!! The men on the other hand get a different kind of hormone during the birthing process. They see their child and the woman who helped them to CREATE LIFE!!!!!! and suddenly they are Tarzan, Hear them roar and all they want to do is drag you back to their tree hut and make more LIFE!!!! I call it the ALFA male high. It usually last like six months.(Now not all males get this just as not all females get the motherly instinct) We on the other hand have suddenly started thinking ten years into the future and we need braces, baseball, toys, all that is NEEDED NOW!!!! No more fun. WE are in nesting mode. Most of us are so messed up with the hormones and no sleep that the last thing we are thinking about is sex. This usually last about six months as well. I am not saying that you will suddenly stop thinking that those things are important. Just that there are ways to prepare without stressing the freak out and that yes there is still time for fun. The man on the other hand is still full up with ALFA MALE HIGH!!! The female might start to think he is acting immature. And in ways he is. he is strutting around like the lead cock in a hen house. We get frustrated and have no idea how to control our hormones at this point and usually end up making a few hundred mountain out of ten mole hills. The male has no idea what happened to the person he married. You've heard people joke about oh she woke up a totally different person. Well in this case it is true. The man is confused, filled up with Alfa male high and most of the time they have no idea what this feeling is or how to satisfy it. Now I believe that during the birthing process there is a connection between two people. This feeling he is having is for her and her alone. But he don't know that. She is acting like a lunatic. Everything he says is wrong and he has started to just sit down and watch tv or play video games just so he don't tick her off for no reason. She in turn, accuses him of ignoring her. You know that mouth half open dumbfounded look that men have when we scream at them? The one that we yell at them for and tell them that they are zoning out and not listening. Well They look dumbfounded because they are. We are thinking, You are ignoring me for a video game! or tv or football. whatever. He is thinking. Um.... I was here... Playing my video game, there is no way I did anything wrong. I was here. Mental head scratch. What the hell.....  Yesterday I was a happy newly wed to my high school sweetheart. or whatever and today I am living with a stranger. All he wants to do is bee with you be a good dad and still be able to have a good time. Now what should happen is the two should sit down and discuss what they are feeling. Most of the time you will find that one had no idea what the other was feeling. But this does not always happen and it can go bad from there. The man might start looking for gratification for that feeling else where. He will immediately find that something is missing, something is off. He will then finally realize that that feeling that urge was directed at the mother of his child alone and no one else. But by then its usually to late. Now you can come back from this. Its not the end of the world. It happens in most marriages. Now if you move past it or he sticks it out with ya and does not cheat either way then this is where postpartum depression comes in. Now the nesting hormone is wearing off we are no longer super mom. Driven by hormones alone! The woman is now feeling the burden that has been placed on her. Both physically and mentally. Her body is not what it was. she is feeling inadequate and now needs the exact thing that the man needed six months ago. She needs to feel needed, she needs to feel wanted, sexy, she needs to know that she's still got it. She does not really know that. She does not know what she wants. She just knows that there is an urge humming through her that she cant out her finger out. This is where we women can slip up. We are busy, our husband is busy our life have taken a huge turn. And by your own previous decree you have done nothing fun in six months. You suddenly want to feel wanted. You suddenly get angry and cry at the drop of a hat. You are projecting that on your husband, boyfriend whatever. He has no idea again what he has done. More video games and we know how that went last time. Now the man could counter this by doing something as simple as walking her to the couch, sitting her down and rubbing her feet. All the while telling her how much you appreciate all that she has been doing. That usually all it would take for most of us. And if the woman felt neglected, all shed have to do is walk in front of the video game and take her shirt off. I guarantee he would forget all about the game. Unfortunately neither new parent knows this and here is where women can get confused. Lord forbid an attractive man shows them attention. If she strays,, like the man, she will immediately find that something is off, something is missing. She will then like the man realize that the urge, the need was directed at her husband. But just like with the man, by then its usually to late. Again I think its that hormone released in both people during the birthing process. Again this could have been avoided by talking.  If you feel something, tell your partner. Remember that they are not psychic. No matter how much we wish they were. One thing that most women fail to remember while we bitch about our hormones, our pms is that men have hormones to and they don't go through the same things we do but they have their own troubles. They deal with ours for most of our lives together. Men's are not so active so cut them a little slack. ( but like I said. Not a doctor, so what do I know. This is just crap I've picked up along the way from observing and actually taking in the people around me.)

Five free Paranormal Romance books for your Kindle

Rescued from certain death, Sophie Hart finds herself drawn into the underground world of Patrick, a silent vampire who also happens to be the last of his kind.


In volume 1 of the Dark Season series, Sophie encounters Patrick for the first time. But while she finds herself drawn to him, she also meets a man who has been chronicling the vampires for many years, and who has a stark warning about getting too involved.


Dark Season is a series of novellas, each approximately 25,000 words. Each book is a complete standalone story, knowledge of the other books is not essential. This book contains some sexual situations.

ALSO AVAILABLE IN THIS SERIES

Volume II - Sentinel
Volume III - Army of Wolves
Volume IV - The Civil Dead

Volume V - The Life, Death, Life, Life and Death of Martin Keller (Dec 2011)

Volume VI - Gothos (Jan 2012)

Volume VII - Testament (Jan 2012)

Volume VIII - Dead End (Feb 2012)

Rae Wilder has problems. Supernatural creatures swarm the earth, and humanity is on the brink of extinction. Stalked by a handsome fairy who claims she is like him, demonkind, Rae thinks maybe it was a mistake breaking the rules by going over the Wall into demon territory. Plunged into a world of dark magics, fierce creatures, and ritual sacrifice, she is charged with a guarding a magical amulet. The changes to her mind and body are startling, but rather than accept her purpose she struggles against who she is destined to be. Throw in a big lust for a vampire who can't keep his hands off her, and life starts to get complicated. Rae is forced to make the ultimate choice: to live and die human, or embrace her birth-right and wield magics that could turn her into something wicked, a force of nature nothing can control.

Book One of the Awakening Trilogy


In the middle of the night Caislyn Vadoma auto-sketches a scene in which her parents are kidnapped from the family bookstore. She awakens in the morning to find that her sketch, a rare glimpse into the future, has already become reality.


Jasmine DeLaney leaves her life behind when an abusive boyfriend puts her in the hospital. She becomes Jaxon, an art consultant in a new town, always looking over her shoulder for the danger she knows will catch up to her eventually.


As Caislyn scrambles for clues to her parents' whereabouts, she casts a spell that leads her to Jaxon. From the moment they meet, the girls are emmersed in a world of chaos and secrets. Finding out they are part of a very dangerous prophecy not only has them on the run, but discovering their own hidden pasts as well.


While trying to come to grips with who they are, how they fit into this prophecy, and where Caislyn's parents are the girls must also face the fact that the stalker vampire who appears to be helping them, may just be putting them in more danger.


The trilogy continues with murder, mayhem, sorrow, a corrupt brotherhood, and one hell of a secret/conspiracy that could change the world forever. Caislyn and Jaxon are the powers to either bring this secret into the light or protect it forever!

Warning: contains pet rats, hot YouTube celebrity roommates, and one spurned girlfriend about to get even...


Working in a wedding cake shop sucks when you've just been dumped.


Bailey Frost has a recipe for disaster: one cheating ex, one big glass of liquor, and three well-meaning male friends who think her lack of a sex life is funny. Before she knows it, she's confessed that she's never had an orgasm with a man.


Now Bailey has to navigate sappy couples at work, while her friends are hell-bent on helping her get revenge on evil Craig...by dressing up as werewolves, on YouTube.


And one of those friends-- the tall, shy-but-gorgeous Linc--might just want to help Bailey with that other little problem...

Fourteen-year-old Chloe witnesses her mother’s murder at the hands of a vampire. Before the vampire can kidnap her, there is an unexpected rescue by a group of vampire hunters. Overwhelmed by the feeling of safety, Chloe passes out and they whisk her away to their small community. When Chloe wakes, she comes face to face with the only other living relative, besides her mother, whom she has ever met: her grandfather. Chloe’s mother kept her hidden from the family; now, Chloe tries to unveil the family secrets. Through her grandfather, she learns her mother was a vampire hunter. In fact, her entire family is descended from the powerful bloodlines of vampire hunters. Chloe agrees to join the family she has never known for one reason only: Chloe vows to kill the vampire responsible for her mother’s murder. With vengeance in her soul, Chloe is even more determined to follow through on her vow when she discovers the true identity of her enemy and how he is connected to her